Privacy

This is the bit where I’m supposed to write an extended treatise in posh and obtuse and frankly, befuddling and indecipherable legalese to assure you that your privacy and data is at all times, kept safe with me and not shared with anybody.

However, I haven’t completely learned or got my head around the official legal lowdown or the correct and legally watertight wording of all of that yet - so please bear with me whilst I go and have a lie down, to decipher it all.

Besides, I think it will probably be pretty indecipherable to you too and if the text goes on too long, I’ll probably short-circuit your attention span anyway.

In the meantime, from what I can work out, here are the basics:

I don’t share any of your data with my family or friends. Or even with your family or friends. Or with my dog (actually, I haven’t got a dog) or with your dog either (have you even got a dog? Actually: DON’T TELL ME! JUST IN CASE! )

I don’t sell your data to anybody either. I’ve got absolutely no idea how you do that. Or inclination to do that either. To be honest, I’m more interested in selling art work than data. Not really sure how to do that either though.

I digress!!

Listen: if you buy things from me, that process probably means your data is shared with the buying platform I use. I guess there is also a chance that visiting my website/signing up to my newsletter somehow means your data is shared with Squarespace or other techy bods.

Crikey, this is all a complete minefield, isn’t it?! Maybe you shouldn’t ever visit my website or buy anything from me ever again. Just to be completely safe.